he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
