We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
