My first STD was from a foam party
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
