FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
