omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Randomize
