i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
