Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize