Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
