Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
