shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm always down for nudity.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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