my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Banned from zoo.
Again?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
