so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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