..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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