Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Pants are for mortals
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