I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
