I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
