I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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