hell yes lets make some ravioli
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
