So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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