do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
