Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
