i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
