3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
