garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You dont lie about slip and slides
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
