She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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