I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You are a genius and a whore.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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