They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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