Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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