roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my being single is dangerous.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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