Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
