We need to rekindle our bromance
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
