This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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