i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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