I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
