Operation Purity has been aborted
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize