I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
