i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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