in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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