if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
