You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize