Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Two words: blizzard sex
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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