dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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