She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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