I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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