and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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