I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
