hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Still dying that you shit outside
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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