when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
