38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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