i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have aggressive nipples.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
