that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Enjoy the penises
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
