i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
