Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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