You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
