were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Vodka?
Forever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize