I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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