i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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