next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
