I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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