What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
